Find your own satisfaction, your own comfort

One of the earliest things Mak warned me before I made up my mind to join the Administrative and Diplomatic service was that I would not be content if I seek to get what others would probably kill for - power, recognition, awards...

Mak, after 31 years in the service herself, was wise to note that the probability of people who stand by their principles, won't say 'yes' all the time to their superiors, seek changes and defy 'precedents' to go far in the service is low. Those who will outshine our peers are most likely made up by mostly suckers who are really good on the art of 'kipas' (even 'air-cond'...) their superiors...

So, it came as no surprise to her when I told her about this junior officer in my office who had been sending multiple sms, announcing that he's a recipient of the Award of Excellence 2003, thanking everybody for their supports. He's been in the Ministry for 2 years and already he's received the coveted award - the least courtesy he can show is not to blow his own horns... Of course, there's nothing wrong in thanking everybody for their support - but he could have done that after the winners are all publicly announced in the monthly assembly next Monday.

And he's been telling everybody that his application for PhD program is being backed by not only the ministry's KSU, but also by KPPA and KSN. In fact, he reported to a select few that he had had tea with Tan Sri KSN recently with a few other young PTDs in which he came to understand that those who performed well and got 'cemerlang' results would be given preferences in selecting the officers who will get to further their studies.

It's common knowledge that he's a son of a senior ranking PTD officer - his father has strong connections with other high level officers and knows all the 'right' people. But then again, shouldn't every officer be judged based on their own merits and capabilities, not because they are the children of the 'right' people, with connection to the 'right' group of people?

"So, Kak, find your own satisfaction elsewhere. Find your own comfort in other things...", Mak advised.

"You can find your own satisfaction in your writing. Or you can develop your hobby in photography into something more. I knew I found my satisfation in voicing out my thoughts and opinions. I knew that my comfort laid in helping those who otherwise might not be helped should they deal with other officers", she continued.

Mak's advice struck a chord somewhere deep inside. So, here I am - finding my own satisfaction in blogging. I used to enjoy contributing once monthly to a publication during my student days in UK. My column was called "Look Again". Although the distribution circle wasn't all that wide - I found comfort in knowing that my voice was heard, my thoughts were shared.

Now I'm hoping that once again, people will look again...